Beki and Sarah's Story

My name is Beki, and I'm a Nurse from Chorley. I went on the trip to Lourdes with HCPT - The Pilgrimage Trust for the first time at Easter 2005 as a helper. Three years earlier my sister, Sarah, went to Lourdes as a sick child.

My first experience of the HCPT came on a rainy Sunday morning in April 2002. I was saying goodbye to my 14 year-old sister Sarah, who was about to go on the trip to Lourdes. At the time I had no idea what Lourdes or HCPT was all about. I just knew that the trip provided an opportunity for Sarah to go on holiday, and to get away from the tiring hospital appointments which my mum had to take her on. I later on realised the Lourdes trip was much more than this!

The reason Sarah was chosen to go to Lourdes with the HCPT was because she had cancer. Sarah had a rare form of cancer called Ewing's Sarcoma which had attacked her left leg, eventually causing Sarah to have her left leg amputated to give her a better chance of survival. Unfortunately, the cancer had already spread to Sarah's lungs causing more gruelling chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

When Sarah returned from her trip to Lourdes she was full of energy and enthusiasm. She spoke constantly of how much fun she had had, and how many great friends she had made on the holiday, what stunned me the most was how Sarah now didn't feel the need to wear her prosthetic leg any more around company. Sarah later explained to me that this was due to seeing other handicapped children in Lourdes and how she felt that there were a lot more children worse off than her. I was amazed by her attitude and new found strength and found it hard to comprehend how a week long trip to France could give a terminally ill child this strength and motivation. But most importantly I believe that Sarah came away from Lourdes with a new faith in God, which I truly believed helped Sarah and my family through the hard times to come.

Two years later on the 25th February 2004 Sarah passed away peacefully with her family by her side. During the next months I felt a sense of loss and grief after loosing my sister and my best friend.

It was during this time that I was given the opportunity to go to Lourdes as a helper with the HCPT. At first I was inclined to say 'no', as I wasn't religious at all. But then I thought it would give me a chance to meet the people who Sarah loved so much and also be able to see what the Lourdes experience was like for myself.

I am now so pleased that I have had this experience. Throughout my week in Lourdes I experienced more love, laughter, joy and emotions that I had ever felt before in my life.

The children we took to Lourdes were a true inspiration to me, and the feeling I got from the experience is nothing you can describe.

Even getting up at half past six every morning to get the children ready didn't phase me in the slightest, seeing the laughter and smiles on the children's faces was enough to get me through the day on a few hours sleep!

Not only did I enjoy the childrens company but also that of the other helpers. Each and every one of them has a story of Sarah to tell me and I don't believe that I will ever find a group of people more caring and loving.

Whilst Lourdes was an exellent experience for me it was also a very emotional one. I felt that on the trip I was closer to Sarah, I was able to go to the places which Sarah had shown me on photos and become firm friends with the helpers who had loved Sarah so much. The whole experience was nothing short of a miracle for myself, not only did I get to meet an amazing group of people but I also got to help an amazing group of ill children and their families.

The whole experience was amazing to me and something I had never felt before. Lourdes to me gave Sarah and other ill children the chance to do something that they do best :-) smile and have fun!! And I was privledged to be apart of helping the children have this.

Beki xx